It gave me a giggle:
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Sticking Up For Our Constitution
3 years ago
Folks who know me alternate between calling me a 'Grumpy Old Bastard' and a 'Curmudgeon'.
Dammit! I am none of the above!
"DO YOU WISH YOU HAD A Wider & ThickerPenis?"Damn thing barely fits in my pants now!
"I think it's time to schedule youThe dude was seriously trying to be romantic. But what he was referring to, I'm not quite sure.
for a high colonic of love;"
Motley Crue’s Vince Neil arrested on DUI charge in Las VegasA tiger just can't change its stripes, a leopard can't change its spots, and fucked-up, drunk, show-off party animal can't all of a sudden behave.
[...]
In an interview last week with The Associated Press about a tell-all book due out in September, Neil said he hadn't used drugs in 20 years and had stopped abusing alcohol.
"There's just a point in your life where you kind of stop, that's what happened with me," Neil had said. "There's other things in life than just drugs and alcohol."
Neil said he admired the sobriety of top performers today.
"Those are the guys that are doing it right," he said. "It's the ones that self-destruct with the drugs and alcohol that have gone by the wayside many years ago."
[...]
Lovely.

"Quick And Maximum En1argement In 2-3 Months."Yup, same old shit.
"Pharmacy sale BAD ECONMY"No shit.
Man who tried self-amputation thought of MacGyverThat'll leave a mark.
HARTFORD, Conn. – Jonathan Metz had his left arm stuck in his furnace boiler for about 12 hours when he asked himself "what would MacGyver do?" and concluded that amputating the limb was his only chance for survival.
[...]
"Would you be interested in placing a small text-based ad on [my web site]? "Fuck no.
?ISO-2022-JP?B?GyRCSD8+SiQ3JEYkJCReJDkhIyQ5JF8kXiQ7JHMkRyQ3JD8bKEI=?=Very informative
"Xanax .... viagra..."Bac to the same old shit again.
Slugger Bryce Harper goes No. 1 to Nationals.This is a cool story for a couple reasons. First, the kid is only 17. Second, he's going to the fucking "Big Time"! And third, he's from my alma mater. A tiny little community college in Nevada.
[...]
The Nationals drafted the much-hyped [Bryce] Harper, a 17-year-old slugger with prodigious power from the College of Southern Nevada, with the No. 1 overall pick in the draft Monday night.
[...]
"Hi :))"Fuck off.
"Insight for love, career, money"Right. Like I'm going to take advice from the internet.
"If you think it's expensive to hire a professional to do the job, wait until you hire an amateur."Now those are words to live by.
Paul Neal "Red" Adair (June 18, 1915 – August 7, 2004)
First 100-degree day of 2010 marks start of hot seasonEvery year I curse. Every year, I'm still here.
Soon, the wind will blow, and it will not cool you off.
It will make your skin hurt.
Walking outside will make your face feel like it did on Thanksgiving when you opened the oven to check on the turkey, and you forgot to turn your head away, and a blast of superheated dry air smacked you in the face and curled your eyelashes back and took your breath away, and for just an instant you thought, "Oh, my goodness. I believe I might go blind."
You will get in your car, and you will leave the top layer of your skin on the steering wheel.
You will walk barefoot across the sidewalk and regret it.
You will drink down a quart of water in one swift gulp.
You will consider sneaking into the pool at Arizona Charlie's to cool off.
Wish you'd tinted your windows.
Brought a hat.
Worked graveyard.
You will curse Las Vegas and the idiots who decided to build a city in the middle of the desert.
[...]
Wis. man gets probation in dirty diaper theftJust ... what the fuck?
"jechray"Sorry, you lost me on that one.
"frolic"Sure. Why not.
Hiring by the U.S. Census Bureau is expected to spike May’s job figures dramatically.575,000 new jobs in one month!
Economist Mark Zandi of Moody’s.com projects the economy will add 575,000 jobs in May, while the Economic Policy Institute’s (EPI) rough projection is for 560,000 jobs.
[...]Uh, those jobs are only temporary. It won't make the numbers for the following months look all that swell, now will it.
Those jobs are temporary ones that will disappear as the Census completes the process of collecting data from people who did not mail in their forms.
[...]
Spanish matador Julio Aparicio is gored by a bull during a bullfight during the San Isidro Feria at the Las Ventas bullring in Madrid.
"Someone on Facebook is waiting for you"Bummer.
Man accused in 'outrageous' bear cub killingI won't pass judgment on the dude who allegedly shot the alleged attack bear, as I wasn't there. I don't know.
[...]
Ann Bryant, president of the Lake Tahoe-based BEAR League, said locals are outraged over the shooting.
"We know for a fact that bears don't attack people, and little 75-pound cubs would certainly not attack a person," she said.
[...]
"From 8an9da to 1ou"Logical.